Invisible Scars

Broken pieces lie, the marks exist.
A fracture here, a fissure there,
Healed over, sealed shut, but still waiting—
Waiting to be found, to be seen, to be noticed.
Expecting nothing, they wait knowing their day will come.

How they came to be, only a few remember;
Regardless they wait, remaining forever,
Burned into my porcelain skin.
All for character, signs of battles past.

How many wounds linger in their place
While blind men and women pass by?
How many cracks and crevices are yet to be seen?

Looking straight at them, yet
Looking straight through them.

What invisible scars life leaves.

Beyond

Intrinsic human knowledge . . . inherent to us all . . .

Finds its limitations where the horizon meets the ocean.

One knows the water continues on, it must.

But one can only see what appears to be the end.

The end, the hem, the close, the final line . . .

 

In one’s mind they seemingly accept what their eyes blatantly perceive,

But deeper within, in a part not quite known, they see what cannot be seen.

They see the possible, the fanatical, the supernatural, the ‘what comes next’ . . .

Beyond the experiential, the physical of actuality.

Beyond the day to day, the beginning and end, the in and out.

 

The peripheral sight comes close. Almost touching. Almost knowing.

But the intangible core humans are gifted with, by something greater than themselves,

The omniscient being hidden beneath mere comprehension. 

The omnipotent being trapped within their fragile bones.

The omnipresent being beyond the laws and cycle of nature.

 

What is seen by this intangible core cannot be seen by the naked eye.

What is seen can only be felt. Not by the skin and flesh, not by the heart and soul.

Something greater, something more, something without title or definition.

Something that can neither be truly explained nor understood.

Something that knows more than one ever knows that they know.

 

Knowledge is more than books, more than thoughts, more than words.

Knowledge is more than actions, more than experience, more than skills.

Knowledge is all of these things and more. More than one can ever imagine.

More than one can ever appreciate, but it is there . . .

In each of us, knowledge lies, a universal collective.

 

Beyond social media and political propaganda.

Beyond gender roles and expectations.

Success and familial ties are only the beginning, the tiniest of hairs . . . 

Stacked upon one another, but constantly crumbling from a lack of solidarity.

Slipping away and fighting against one another, by no fault of their own.

 

By no fault of their own. They try and search for answers.

Never ceasing their immense curiosity for where the waters lead.

Pushing the limits of limits themselves, reaching for limitlessness.

. . . something . . . they will never . . . reach . . . but

They try, even in the unconscious they try, they never stop trying.

 

The ego may bruise beyond repair by the limits of this world.

But the intangible core cannot help but carry on. Questioning, searching, always.

Even in secret, even with miniscule steps, even . . . 

The core will always be what it is; there can be no doubt about this.

This . . . this is something that cannot be stopped.

 

No matter how insignificant or nonexistent it may seem,

The core is there. In each one of us. And if one is wise,

One would do well to search out the core, treasure and support it with all that they are.

For all that they are, is the core itself—beyond limitation, beyond knowledge . . .

Beyond all.

Waiting

Here.

Here I stand.

Here I stand waiting.

 

Waiting for you. Waiting for something, anything.

Waiting for time to change, to pass, to come again.

To see you and everything around me become what it was once before.

Grasping for the wavering memories as they slowly, softly disappear.

Holding onto the nothing that I have left.

 

The nothing that has gravitated into something.

A comforting solace of emptiness.

Even my own being can no longer be found in this.

This, which appears as it is but never as it was.

Was I ever really a part of this?

Did I ever really fill the void that now exists?

How can the something cycle back into nothing?

 

Back.

Back again.

Back again for more.

 

More love, more time, more you.

You who never left but never came.

You who stole my dreams, my heart, my soul

And turned them into dust—

Flowing aimlessly, without purpose, without cause.

 

What is purpose without love?

What is purpose without you?

Purpose cannot, does not, exist without reason.

What reason have I to continue on? To continue waiting?

Standing here without purpose is like an ache that won’t stop aching.

Nothing to be done, but fight against the pain or . . . 

Or flow with the ache and see where it leads.

 

Leading you.

Leading you here, next to me. While I stand and wait.

Waiting, flowing, standing they are all the same.

They seem so different from one another, but in fact, no.

In truth, they represent one another so purely that they become one another.

There is no difference, no difference at all.

Save the difference of opinion.

 

The opinion of one is conceivably the identity of the other, but how would they ever know?

They have no consciousness of their own.

They are merely thoughts thought up by a thinker.

The actions hold the same essence, essence of being of thinking,

Of waiting.

 

Waiting where I am.

Standing where I wait.

Where?

Movie Reviews

Very brief reviews (personal opinions) of movies I've watched recently...

Blue Valentine (2010), a reflection of life from the sad-but-true gritty grime to the beautiful innocence and simple pleasures; ironically enough the first words out of my mouth after the final fade to black, a dry but assertive "I hate life." I'll leave it at that for now.

About Time (2013), a comedy that ended up making me cry more than the ending of Titanic (1997), in the best sense--very happy tears witnessing the beautiful, genuine journey of life and the difficult decisions when letting go of one loved one to make another possible.

Prisoners (2013), filled with self-doubt trying to decipher a twisted whodunit, inevitably revealing that we are all prisoners of something--be it physical entrapment, psychological inner conflict, drugs meant to ease our pain; however fitting the ending might have been, it was a frustrating one making me think of Jake Gyllenhaall as the absolute worst detective ever.

The Lego Movie (2014), quirky and cute. Found myself being tempted for tears towards the end, but the commercialism of it all overrode such impulses. And now if someone could shoot me because "Everything is Awesome!" is such a freakin' catchy song and I can't get it out of my head.

Last Vegas (2013), seeing Morgan Freeman in the flesh after hearing him in The Lego Movie was a plus. Heartfelt intentions were partly shrouded by big names being the center selling point of the film, but overall it was a lovely story and I got a couple of chuckles out of it.

We're the Millers (2013), the person sitting next to me on the plane insisted I watch this film, so I did. Not too shabby for what it was; typical sexual, awkward situations dispersed throughout. And, come on, how lucky is the young, dorky actor who got to make-out with Jennifer Aniston? Let's be real.

Enough Said (2013), poisoning perceptions and self-destruction. Relationships are hard enough as it is--and as unlikely as Eva and Albert's relationship is--the film did accurately portray our uncontrollable, incessant need to affirm what we're doing and who we're choosing is good enough instead of simply figuring out our own feelings toward said thing or person.

Before Sunrise (1995), beautiful opposites attract impulsive love story. And as much as I despise open endings at times, this open ending was overwrought with hope; even if these two people never actually met again, their encounter filled their hearts with hope for the future, something to look forward to, grabbing life for everything it has to offer.

The O'Briens (2013), this was the final film I began to watch on my returning flight to America and, fortunately for me, I could only watch about 20mins before it cut off for landing. Gorgeous location, but poor quality (especially in terms of lighting/over-exposure). I enjoyed the concept and their were nice moments, but reactions were generally overdramatic (whether that's on the director, the actors, or the writers I cannot tell you)