I walk away.

I choose me.

I love you. But I love myself more.

Because I need to.

Because if I don’t, no one else will.

I walk away, you say.

Yes, I walk away.

Every time I feel devalued, degraded, or ignored: I walk away.

Every time you stab me with your words formed from misplaced fear, stress, and anger: I walk away.

I will walk away from what does not serve me and my higher purpose.

You think the worst of me. You disagree with everything I am. That’s fine.

I walk away.

I walk away.

I send you light and love.

 

I walk away and continue on my path while you continue on yours.

Captured.

Captured.

Kept in a glass box.

Not able to leave.

Captors follow every move I make, can’t escape.

Every time I try to leave, they stop me and put me back.

If I can’t go through, I try going under. Thwarted.

Digging the very ground beneath me. Can’t breathe.

No more.

No more.

No more.

I wake up “free” ... suspicious, how could that be?

I leave cautious, paranoid, not knowing how this happened.

Is it a trick? It must be a trick. 

Any time now, they’ll find me and put me back;

But I keep moving, trying, hoping. Scared, but

This is all I have, this is the chance I made.

I have to take it, I have to leave,

I must escape.

12-14-15

What are the odds?
What are the chances?
What are the statistical probabilities?
Why?

Turns out, it doesn’t matter.

No matter what happens. No matter how horrible or wonderful it may seem at the time. No matter how slim the odds, no matter how high the stakes. Sometimes things just happen. For no other reason then: they happen. And that’s okay.

Yes, everything happens for a reason. But more often than not, that reason has nothing to do with you or that reason may not benefit you at all, ever. And that’s okay.

You may never truly know the reason for anything. And that’s okay.
You may perceive and apply reasons to anything. And that’s okay too.

We like to believe everything happens for a reason, a greater purpose that somehow includes or involves us as individuals. And that is a perfectly acceptable reality.

Others believe (whether they’d “like” to is up for debate) that everything (or nothing, double-sided perspective) happens, without reason and with no direct connection or correlation to anyone. Another perfectly acceptable reality.

The odds may be slim, but maybe the universe isn’t trying to tell you anything. Maybe the universe isn’t trying to torture you. Maybe it just happened.  (Repeatedly… for giggles perhaps)

Maybe the universe is testing you. And maybe, just maybe, you’re ready to finally pass and move on to the next subject. 

Who knows really? We all like to think we do, but ultimately “All I know is, I know nothing.”

ENOUGH!

Enough. Enough. Enough.
Why?!
Enough violence.
Enough bigotry.
Enough division.
Enough confusion.
Enough fear.

For all the good surrounding us,
Stop hiding. Please come out and shine bright,
So that this darkness can fade and forever be banished away.

Be good.
Be kind.

How long must we wait? Divided, conquered, mistrusting.

I understand as best I can. I understand how and why so many think and believe and act in opposition to--
LOVE!

But, please. Open your hearts, however broken and battered.
Open your minds, however clouded and steadfast.
Open yourself to something greater than hatred.
Live in love.

Live to love yourself. Live to love one another—regardless of the meaningless lines (social constructs) our society has misguidedly placed upon us all. 

Stop history from repeating. Start a new way.
Stop accepting separation, for any reason. Start a worldwide union.

Enough labels. Enough lies. Erase them from your hearts and minds, and society will follow.
We are ONE people.
We are ONE human race.
We are ONE species.

Please work together. Please do not harbor feelings of animosity towards anyone, regardless of their transgressions—grave or slight. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Respect one another.

I can only hope, despite all of this sadness and horror that has run rampant since the beginning of humanity, I can only hope—and try to live in such a manner that is befitting to our evolution from simple, crude animals into critical, moral, and spiritual beings.

Today, my tear-ducts are clogged from the sheer multitude of waves of grief for our shortcomings… one after another, utterly ridiculous and unnecessary.

We must keep trying.
We must keep moving forward as a people.
We must keep living in love.

Look for the light amongst the darkness; for however difficult, it surrounds us and is ultimately within us.

Look for it, find it, hold on to it; if you look for it and cannot find it, create it and share it with the world.

Within Myself

I am capable of more than something, but I feel lazy and unimportant, of little consequence
      but that feeling is unhealthy and untrue
      but before I can achieve more than something I must first rid myself of the toxic waste of untrue feelings rooted in the evil that surrounds us

I must cleanse my own body, heart, mind, and soul before I can actively and effectively achieve more than something
That something, that more than something, is cleansing the world of hatred and indifference.
       But how can I possibly strive to save any portion of the world, if a part of me hates any portion of myself?
       How can I strive to make a difference, if indifference finds a complacent home within any portion of myself?

"The unexamined life is not worth living"

It begins and ends within me.

I cannot radiate hope and life and acceptance, if within I fear and wish for death and deny myself.
And even if I never properly strive or achieve that something more; so long as I spend my time properly striving to know myself and to loving and accepting myself, then have I not achieved at least some ounce of success in my lifetime?

Have I not already achieved success in my mere, unique existence? I have traveled light years to make my way here to earth.
I have already transformed from one intense and awe-inspiring being into the next, and even after my human being comes to an end, I will continue to transform into yet another being--one with this earth.

From atoms of hydrogen to helium, into carbon, into nitrogen, etc.
At this stage, human beings can only see what stage comes just after. We are not capable of seeing much further in either direction, but we can imagine the countless stages invisible to our human eyes and minds.

"Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now" -Paulo Coelho (The Alchemist)

Be present. Live not in your future nor your past.
Things change constantly from elements around them, but they are inevitably the same as they have always been.